Fixation

Her heart numb,frozen,broken.

Her soul grew weary,she missed the token.

You called,she refused to listen.

Followed her path but she was mistaken.

 

Like waves Your love surged,

Her worries washed,her pains submerged.

The threads of her life woven in Your pattern,

Fascinated by Your power that she can’t discern.

 

A choice was made,

Slowly she died,illusions started to fade.

By grace she was raised from her coffins of sins

She looked back but abandoned the ruins.

“…We do not know what to do,but our eyes are upon You.”-2Chronicles 20:11

To the man I love.

Dear ……,

Sorry I know this is late,it’s 1:29 am on my clock, an hour and 29 minutes pass feb 14.As you know,I’m waiting for you… Right now,I still want to feel your presence.In a dream again maybe…but I cant sleep yet.I have an exam tomorrow,2 exams.I dont know how to pull this off.First,im heavily distracted and second…im distracted.Well reading Gregoria de Jesus’ life  is not the best thing to do at this time of the day…

I know I already used this before,but I want to call you Honey.It’s the cheesy name that Im most comfortable with.Do you know what I did today?To just avoid the temptation of texting the guys who asked me out days before yesterday’s over-rated day?Right after class I locked myself in my room and reflected on my life instead…I tried to dig deep within my heart,to see what’s really there and to throw whatever unnecessary feelings I have such as loneliness.Even if I deny it,God knows that I felt sad seeing those girls carrying bouquets of flowers,chocolates and love letters.I just cant lie to Him for He knows me more than I know myself.

The thought of …I could have been that girl ,carrying maybe just a stem of rose but the catch is,with the guy that I dont even love,a guy that I barely knew,a guy who just wants someone to be with on that day,another lonely soul.And that,I cant do.He’s not you.They’re not you.

I just want you to be happy…when that day comes.When we’ll both have our first glance of each other’s face.I badly want  to save this date for you.The mistakes that I had before,I know they can no longer be erased,but I know I can avoid those from happening again.

Whoever you are,wherever you are right now,whatever you’re doing,whether a thought of me already crossed your mind or not…I want you to know that every night I pray for you.I know right now,God wants us first to be closer to Him before we can be closer to each other,before we can truly love each other.Even if sometimes I get defeated with my emotions as a human…God never failed to remind me of His love for me.I know,He’s doing the same to you.

You may not know me yet,but there’s a girl,who is saving her date for you.A girl who’s waiting for you.A girl who writes letters to you…even if people find her weird for doing so…even if she finds herself weird and crazy for doing so.haha.

I dont have a flower at hand,nor a letter or a chocolate bar.But I’m firmly holding on to God’s will for the two of us.I love you and Happy Valentine’s Day…okay let me say it once again…Honey. :))

Love,

Marylie

Reason

3:05 A.M. October 2,2012

“I am your Creator.You were in my care even before you were born.-Isaiah 44:2a (CEV)”

Thank You for comforting me God.I am troubled,I am tired.Thank You for the love,the comfort.The search for my purpose is over.I found my purpose on You.

LORD ang hirap po.Ang hirap hirap ng circumstances na napuput ako.But the fact that You planned everything for me,that gives me a great thing to hold on to.You love me so much You’ve put me in all of these.I dont mind spending an hour weeping ,this is not sadness,I’m seeing this great power that You have.I am just a person,but not an ordinary person because You created me out of love.

You are who you are for a reason.

You’re part of an intricate plan.

You’re a precious and perfect unique design,

Called God’s special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason.

Our God made no mistake.

He knit you together within the womb,

You’re just what He wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones He chose,

And NO MATTER how you feel,

They were custom-designed with God’s plan in mind,

And they bear the Master’s seal.

NO,THAT TRAUMA YOU FACED WAS NOT EASY.

AND GOD WEPT THAT IT HURT YOU SO;

BUT IT WAS ALLOWED TO SHAPE YOUR HEART

SO THAT INTO HIS LIKELINESS YOU’D GROW.

You are who you are for a reason,

You’ve been formed by the Master’s rod.

You are who you are ,beloved,

Because there is a God!

-Russell Kelfer