Being a night person has its perks.It allows you to contemplate and reflect in complete silence.(Unless you have a noisy fan beside you)
Sleep comes around 3 in the morning for me,well recently.So I have to ‘kill’ my remaining hours of being awake and so I do all sorts of things that doesn’t include studying.It’s as if my body is awake but my mind is already in a state of dreaming.I tried watching a movie suggested by a friend and then I turned to my facebook and posted this :
and ripples of thoughts followed after that. So I went to the living room and reflected before a mirror.Two times the reflection.(Literally and figuratively). Then this odd feeling started to crawl all over me.I looked at myself eye-to-eye and I started crying.What am I doing with my life?
This is me before the graduation :
I’M GONNA GO OUT THERE AND SHOW THEM WHAT I’VE GOT!YEAH!
and the letters in yellow is what I feel right now.It makes me want to scream at all the greek letters and numbers.-GO.GO AWAY!
I am a cured pessimist.Although I can still see slight manifestations of that attitude of mine up to now.Just like how a drug addict suffers from relapses along the way. Sometimes,it wanders to the left most side of a number line.I don’t know but I was really feeling awful last night.I do have my Source of hope and all but I’m still human…I feel these sorts of things.
After about an hour I decided to lay down and these words just popped out of nowhere.
The Urgency of Now.
The Urgency of NOw.
The Urgency of NOW.
And I thought,Hey,You’re right.The Urgency of Now,I greatly need to consider that.Why am I so afraid of how I shall live my tomorrow?
When you’re young,people will always tell you to do whatever you want,achieve your dreams,travel places because you have all the time in the world.But no one really knows how much time you have left to do whatever you were created to do. The only time that you and I certainly have is NOW.
“Time is a candle’s flame and what burns are the minutes we live”-Candle,A Short Film
Have I really spent my minutes living? I guess I should start doing that now.The things that we do with our time reflects what we value and how we value them.It’s comfortable to sleep in this rainy weather,but I don’t wanna wake up one day remembering nothing but sleeping.
Our impatience have the ability to overshadow our rationale for certain things.Like in my case,my rationale for studying because I have a Licensure Exam to take.My impatience tells me – Hey mylie,what benefit do you get from studying without a grade or reward in return??? Why don’t you just keep yourself happy and comfortable? Stop stressing yourself on getting the Enthalpy of that coffee-cup for cupcake’s sake. But that’s the thing with impatience,it includes all the fleeting things imaginable. The comfort,the happiness that it offers are nothing but a day-worth of pampering yourself and after that,you snap back to reality. Our reality is still the same,but our time has diminished linearly with our patience.
Now demands to be lived.Now demands to be spent wisely.There must be a reason for why this is the Now that we have for now.
and most importantly,what we do NOW will echo for eternity.
Hushed Noise 