One True Love

You listen to my whispers,my screams,my cries.On my troubled times,You stay.You go wherever I go,making sure that I’ll be fine.You never leave without seeing my tears subside.You never left me.

You don’t mind me telling the same stories,ranting my problems.Actually,You like hearing them.You’ve seen me in my worst state.You pursued me when I tried to push You away.You embraced me in those seemingly endless nights of pain and grief.When I cried over lost people,broken things,failed attempts in my life.You cared so much for me that You cried with me.Felt the pain that I did.Felt them a hundred times more.

You always pull off the best kind of surprises.Just to make me smile.When my mind is all over the place,You put things in the proper perspective for me.You plan my life for me.You plan our years ahead.

You stay awake with me in my sleepless nights.Giving me the strength to endure each second.Sending me rest when I’ve done enough for the day.Who can match such love?

You are the lover of my soul.I want to drown in Your love and stay in Your arms forever.

YOURS

A flare of hope that holds no demise,
Not obstructed by fear that crumbles me within,
A haze of endless possibilities fill the vacuum,
Your firm grip holds my loose faith solid and stable.

Invisible to the eyes yet You shed light,
Waking up my senses bringing warmth in the cold night,
A sniff of Your love’s sweet aroma satisfies,
Your silence delivers comfort to a confused mind.

The unimaginable life that I once dreamed,
Sent by Your voice in one sincere call.
Million times I rejected yet you pursued,
The power of Your grace saved a soul bound to be doomed.

Even if the light flickers in the wilderness,
Even if the rope unravels whenever I fall,
Even if the melody turns to a deafening noise,
My heart is Your possession,Yours is it all.
-MarylieC.

How to begin?

I opened my eyes to the warmth of the morning light,

I searched for tears that were hesitant to flow,

I looked at the mirror,there was nothing,not a hint of a smile.

Only the stagnant features that I’ve always recognized.

I decided to get up,but I cant.

My body paralyzed by something within.

Not a disease,not the weather,something far greater.

It is fear that consumed my hope to begin.

I tried to utter words, to ease the pain that grows,

The pressure flattened my hopes to the thinnest portion.

As if nothing was left of me,where was the person that I used to be?

Where is the unfaltering joy amidst all the trials?

I searched deeper.Prayed harder.

I was screaming silently to reach Your ears.

Your ears that are in heaven,Your face out of reach.

But I bowed instead and I found You there ,residing in my heart.

Roller Coaster

I just want to thank God for what He did today…I’ve been through an emotional roller coaster.Im still crying while typing this.

I’ve witnessed what an earnest and sincere prayer can do.Even though this is just a material thing…when we dont have something that we badly want yet we cant have it due to several reasons…such as financial constraints or whatever.It hit me hard,it shocked me,it’s real,God listened….He heard…I really cant explain it here.what I felt and what happened…all of a sudden I felt really close to God,that only His physical presence is missing and it felt great..

But right there and there…I got tested…and I’m thankful because even if I cried in front of my parents…I had an opportunity to choose God and to show to them the change that God did in me…I dont know if they discerned my small gestures…but it is when we choose God despite the circumstances that he truly blesses us…That is where we will feel the true joy coming from Him…I know they wouldn’t understand…but I was actually crying because of joy…90% out of joy,5% of regret,5% sadness…The best part is God changing the hearts of the people around me which I’m looking forward to…maybe not now but soon.The sad part is….seeing how this world can control people…it’s sad…very,,sad.

I do not know…what will happen…but I’m happy to strongly experience God’s presence in my life once again.I’m thankful, despite the bad things that came up along the way.Only God can provide pure and true joy.Only my Father can.

For the mean time…I think I’ll just rest.