3 Things I’ve Learned from a Man’s Disappearing Act

My days are slowly going back to normal. Eventually, I myself will follow.

I’m done with wallowing in tears. I’m done searching for possible explanations. I’m done torturing myself, reviewing everything that happened just to figure out what have I done wrong. I’m done not being myself. I’m done living the life that isn’t for me.

So I move forward, with everything that I learned from this nightmare.Here are the 3 things that I’ve learned from a man’s disappearing act.

1.It’s not about what we deserve.

Lately I came to realize that when such things happen, it is not about ‘deserving’. We often do things thinking that a good act done will attract a good act in return. It’s not about how nice we are, how long our patient is, how true is the love we’ve given. After all, we can’t control the other person’s thoughts. Everything that happens in our lives, good or bad, is as real as our existence. It is felt, it is seen, it leaves a mark. So love truly, give freely, smile joyfully and if these aren’t given back atleast we were real. At that very moment, we were a part of the other person’s reality.

Being a part of their lives, no matter how brief, is one of the simple joys of life cuz we remain in their memories.

2. Accept the reality that some people were not meant to stay in your life, worse some don’t even have the guts to say goodbye.

Need I say more? We will not always get the answers that we seek, maybe not in this lifetime. But maybe, it is better of that way. It is for our own good. Deep in our hearts we know that if someone really wants a place in your life, they will find a way. And if someone wants out, they could simply walk away, without a hint or two. It is one reality that is hard to accept but we must.

3. Remember who you are without them.

For it is time to un-glue the attachment (of all forms). My family did not even recognize me anymore. My mom missed her child a lot, she missed my smiles. I missed myself too. My frequent times of solitude. I just miss myself without you. I got so caught up with scheduling my daily life just to get the chance to talk to you and your ghosting act just made me realize how dumb I was to do that. I will not go to the same cafe, I will not go out at the same time during mornings, I will forget the life that I created around you.

Disconnection

Hanging by a finger,
you watched me slip away.
Trying to remember,
but you forgot how to stay.

I kept on holding on
to uncertain possibilities.
Endured the pain of my decision,
like a self-inflicted disease.

Carelessly you walked around,
stepping on my finger like a rock.
My heart dying,my senses numbed,
suddenly I heard the ticking of the clock.

An ardent longing came to an end.
Set free from the deception plotted in my head.
I closed my eyes,prepared for my descend.
Letting go of you is all I ever wanted.

-HushedNoise

To the One who deserves my ALL

I didn’t have the courage to open up again  in here.I’ve been in tough situations.Situations that tested how firm my faith is,situations that continue to prune out the traits that I acquired from this world,situations that tested my nature as a woman,situations that I know were all God-sent.I even questioned whether I should continue writing here.What’s the point of an unpopular blogsite in wordpress?Then I realized that Im not writing for the fame,also not for the sole purpose of opening up and speaking my mind but to somehow ,even in the smallest way possible,to serve God with the Gift that he has given me.The ability to translate my thoughts into words ,statements that actually makes us.To inspire the people,specially the youths who accidentally read my blogpost.I am called to use whatever was given to me,to lead people towards Him.

I wondered for quite some time now how I can serve God.We don’t need multitudes of people to see our service for God,we only need God alone.The one who sees even our smallest and hidden ways.I thank God for planting the seed of service in my heart.It’s my job to grow to a fully-developed plant,to respond to my Creator’s nurturing,to endure the extreme droughts that will come,to rejoice in the rain,to be a blessing to others in harvest seasons.

I praise God for putting me where I am now.No matter how hard it is,to be away from my family ,the life that  I used to live and to experience more of the real world I know that in the lives of each and everyone,God is at work.Watching but never unaware of our desires,happiness even our heartaches and tears.

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If someone will get to read this(hopefully) if you have concerns that you want to share or want to get an advice regarding such,feel free to comment.I will do my best to help or I might write an entry regarding that.I want to.

For the meantime,the future posts will be about my struggles as a teenager and how God responded to those situations.How God brought the good out of the bad.

Where Magic Happens

(Photo by Chris Villarin)

Dear Mr.Curiosity,

This place was a witness of a chapter of my life.It still is.Just this time ,it’s me alone.Until the day comes.Until the right person comes…I promise to bring you here.To the man who will take my tears seriously ,who will still love me for my weaknesses and sensitivity.I don’t know when.I don’t know how.But this time I’m sure that I’m more patient than ever in waiting for you.I can’t afford another heartbreak,another cry,another lonely night.I will be longing for you until that day.I know you will understand this weirdness and take it as the most precious thing about me.I know that you will understand that I’m different yet reconcile these differences to make a lovely forever with me.I would appreciate a bottle of ketchup in our anniversary.Just please don’t make coffee for me unless I ask for it.A glass of milk with tidbits of cheese would be great during mornings.Just so you know,everything that you’ll be giving me will be treasured,even if it’s just a flower picked from a park.Or a feather from a bird that have fallen from a tree. Please lend me your ears when I tell you my rants.I may complain a lot and get angry on many things but I will stay with you and never leave you whenever you need me.This blog post can be my vow in our future wedding.Until the day comes…You’ll know everything,hear everything.

I’ll start writing daily letters for you again.Sorry if I stopped.But I still have the old ones.

Love,

Marylie

 I knew it.This place is really magical.It was included in each of their stories.A fun read.

Check out their blogs :http://evenstarwen.com/tag/up-diliman-sunken-garden/ 

http://aboutmyrecovery.com/college-sweethearts/