To the One who deserves my ALL

I didn’t have the courage to open up again  in here.I’ve been in tough situations.Situations that tested how firm my faith is,situations that continue to prune out the traits that I acquired from this world,situations that tested my nature as a woman,situations that I know were all God-sent.I even questioned whether I should continue writing here.What’s the point of an unpopular blogsite in wordpress?Then I realized that Im not writing for the fame,also not for the sole purpose of opening up and speaking my mind but to somehow ,even in the smallest way possible,to serve God with the Gift that he has given me.The ability to translate my thoughts into words ,statements that actually makes us.To inspire the people,specially the youths who accidentally read my blogpost.I am called to use whatever was given to me,to lead people towards Him.

I wondered for quite some time now how I can serve God.We don’t need multitudes of people to see our service for God,we only need God alone.The one who sees even our smallest and hidden ways.I thank God for planting the seed of service in my heart.It’s my job to grow to a fully-developed plant,to respond to my Creator’s nurturing,to endure the extreme droughts that will come,to rejoice in the rain,to be a blessing to others in harvest seasons.

I praise God for putting me where I am now.No matter how hard it is,to be away from my family ,the life that  I used to live and to experience more of the real world I know that in the lives of each and everyone,God is at work.Watching but never unaware of our desires,happiness even our heartaches and tears.

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If someone will get to read this(hopefully) if you have concerns that you want to share or want to get an advice regarding such,feel free to comment.I will do my best to help or I might write an entry regarding that.I want to.

For the meantime,the future posts will be about my struggles as a teenager and how God responded to those situations.How God brought the good out of the bad.

Back to where I started.

I think I finally calmed down,after what happened to me yesterday.After all the drama.After taking enough sleep,after not doing anything aside from eating and sleeping for the past hours,after eating seafood,pork,intestine,sweet corn and a pack of extra chili peanuts.

Guess I just needed to be home.To feel the comfort that only home can give.Without a tear or two,without explanations,without words,without over assessment of every single thing that I’ve done and still need to be doing.

Now it feels like even if I only have a few hours left,I can do what I need to do.

And I just miss being her.The crazy,random,jolly girl that I’ve always been.Well maybe not yesterday.But I really want her back.So I will be her.I will be me again.

And it was nostalgic reading my abandoned diary.The black notebook.Everything is still there.Yea.From my first year in college to October of last year.